At This Juncture
AT THIS JUNCTURE
ALSO BY RONA ALTROWS
A Run on Hose
Key in Lock
Shy (ed., with Naomi K. Lewis)
The River Throws a Tantrum (children’s chapbook,
illustrated by Sarah-joy Geddes)
AT THIS JUNCTURE
A Book of Letters
RONA ALTROWS
Copyright © 2018 by Rona Altrows
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.
Publisher’s note: This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Some characters are based on living or dead persons, but the views those characters express do not necessarily represent the views of the persons on whom the characters are based.
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Altrows, Rona, 1948–, author
At this juncture : a book of letters / Rona Altrows.
ISBN 9781988098593 (EPUB)
ISBN 9781988098609 (mobi)
I. Title.
PS8601.L87A8 2018 C813’.6 C2018–900454–1
Printed and bound in Canada on 100% recycled paper.
eBook: tikaebooks.com
Now Or Never Publishing
901, 163 Street
Surrey, British Columbia
Canada V4A 9T8
nonpublishing.com
Fighting Words.
We gratefully acknowledge the support of the Canada Council for the Arts and the British Columbia Arts Council for our publishing program.
For Bill
And in memory of my parents, Hyman and Rae Altrows
CONTENTS
First letter to the CEO of Canada Post
Second letter to the CEO of Canada Post
a hundred thousand beats
opening thoughts
To Sophie Marx from Jenny Marx
To John A. Macdonald from Elizabeth Hall
To Peter Fagan from Helen Keller
To Ruth Draper from Amy Piperdale
To Rabindranath Tagore from Anapurna Turkhud
kin
opening thoughts
To her sister Hendrika from Helena Jans
To René Descartes from Helena Jans
To Maria Theresia Hagenauer from Anna Maria Mozart
To his mother from General James Wolfe
To Hermann Einstein from Heinrich Schmidt
any words you may have for me
opening thoughts
To Aphra Behn from Jane Barker
To Catherine Churiau of Biarritz, France from Esther Brandeau
To Jesus from Aristides de Sousa Mendes
To Leo from AJ
To Golda Meir, Prime Minister of Israel from AJ
To Derek Wragge Morley from AJ
occupied as you are
opening thoughts
To Pope Francis from AJ
To Prince Charles from AJ
I can explain
opening thoughts
To Dennis Nassau from AJ
To Julius Fairchild from Peg Woffington
unfinished
opening thoughts
To the president of my alumni association from AJ
To her daughter Gabrielle-Pauline from Emilie du Châtelet
To Abate Jacopo Panzanini from Vincenzo Viviani
To Aspasia from Xanthippe
work with me
opening thoughts
To Joan of Arc from AJ
To Joseph Pujol from Onésime Lavallée
you need not repay in quarters
opening thoughts
To the owner of the Café Versailles from AJ
To the owner of Flowmayvin Trenchless Sewer Repair Ltd. from AJ
To the president of Pharmabella from AJ
To the owner of the Café Versailles from AJ—second letter
To the Tower II engineering technician at the Hotel Poseidon from AJ
Leo
opening thoughts
To Lady Gaga from AJ
To Leo’s mother from AJ
To Leo’s mother from AJ—second letter
To Gregory Chudnovsky and David Chudnovsky from AJ
To Leo from AJ—second letter
To Pope Francis from AJ—second letter
Third letter to the CEO of Canada Post
FIRST LETTER TO THE CEO OF CANADA POST
December 12, 2013
Dear Mr. Chopra,
Yesterday I learned to my dismay that Canada Post has continued to suffer great losses. One need not be an economic analyst to realize that extensive use of the Internet has been a major cause of the decline of our postal service. The news that Canada Post did not do well over the past year did not come as a surprise to me and I am sure you were not flabbergasted either.
According to the news stories, Canada Post will rely largely on parcel delivery for its revenue in future. Good luck with that, as you attempt to run head to head against the Amazonian drones that will be sharing our air space before you know it.
I have a proposal. It will not cost much, and I am confident it will breathe life into your moribund letter delivery service. It is true, I am not a corporate consultant by profession; I am an just an ordinary woman in my fifties with wide interests but no particular expertise in business. However, I do have a passion that I am willing to share, and if you will only let me do so, I will show you a way to get Canada Post back in the black.
You see, Mr. Chopra, I pride myself on being a dedicated writer of letters. At the age of six, I wrote my first letter. It was to my aunt Bella, who resided in Moosomin, Saskatchewan. Aunt Bella and I carried on a lively correspondence until her death twenty-three years later. Each of us wrote the other a minimum of once a week and our letters always travelled by mail. Therefore, in the course of the years we were in postal contact, we purchased, by my calculation, at least 2,392 Canadian stamps. I think it can fairly be said Aunt Bella and I did our share to keep our country’s postal service profitable.
Through that rewarding experience with my aunt, I discovered early in life the power and beauty of letter writing and letter reading. Today, although it would be quicker, cheaper, and more efficient to send e-mails or communicate over social media, I still write and mail numerous letters to friends all over the world. Consequently, I still buy many stamps.
Regrettably, I cannot single-handedly keep my favourite Crown corporation afloat. I can, however, volunteer some of my time (although if you think it appropriate, you might wish to offer me an honourarium) to do something that may change Canada Post into a happy corporation once again.
You see, I love to read about the achievements of people from all periods of human history, and, for my own amusement, I write ersatz historical letters. I have created quite a collection of phony yet credible letters—from historical people to other historical people, from historical people to people I made up in my head, from people I made up in my head to historical people, and so on. I can share these letters with you, so that you can make them available to the people of Canada—but only if they buy stamps. So if someone buys, say, a package of ten stamps, she or he gets to read the fake letter from General James Wolfe’s last letter to his mother. For a purchase of twenty stamps, the reward is the fake letter from Karl Marx’s wife to his cousin. My fabricated letters r
espect history—I am careful about that—but at the same time, they add quite a bit of feasible, sometimes juicy speculation. Some of the subjects of my letters are lesser known than others, and so may pique the curiosity of customers who prefer the obscure. And purchasers already sold on the letters to do with the more famous subjects may wish to look further.
But what of the prospective stamp purchasers who are not history or biography buffs? What is their epistolary incentive for buying stamps? Well, they may be drawn to letters I have written, as a concerned consumer, to businesses whose performance has been less than stellar. (Naturally, when I write any such letter I go to the local stationers’ store and make a copy on the DIY xerox machine for five cents a page. Hence, I have copies of all such letters and can give you the best for our sales-incentive line.) I have changed all company names and locations, liability issues being what they are.
And yes, I will share some of my personal correspondence too, knowing full well that some customers are going to be most drawn in by letters that are contemporary. I have checked with my best friend Leo Ellison, who is in his early twenties and figures prominently in the letters I will share with you and you will share with Canada. It is possible there will be repercussions from Leo’s mother. However, I am accustomed to dealing with her rancour and I can assure you, Canada Post will suffer no harm at her hands. I am her sole target.
Doesn’t my scheme make eminent sense? You see the hook. Reading letters makes people want to write their own letters, more and more of them, and send them all by post. And for that, they need stamps.
Ironically, you may wish to make use of the Internet as one means of advertising the existence of my letters to stamp purchasers. If you need any assistance in wending your way through the world of electronic communication, we can bring Leo in as a consultant. He is extremely knowledgeable in such matters—more savvy, I would venture to say, than even most of his own technologically sophisticated cohort, Generation Screwed.
I am confident that within a month of disseminating my letters as rewards, you will note a surge in sales of what you term on your website “lettermail” stamps. Soon, the entire nation will be writing letters in surging numbers. You will have buy-in from across the country. Your revenues will soar. And who can even calculate the potential goodwill our program will generate?
We all want Canada Post to do well, Mr. Chopra. Let me help you make that happen.
Sincerely,
Ariadne Jensen
p.s. Here is another promotional idea, one that has just occurred to me. I am sure your personal office is quite large. If you can find a corner for me, and provide me with a notepad, I will write a series of letters, targeted to different readers, about the value of letter writing. There can be one letter for young children just learning to read and write, one for older children, one for teenagers, one for millennials, one for GenExers, one for Gen Ys, and so forth. Even though I have not quite reached that point in my life, I am sure I can fashion good letters for the so-called young-old in their sixties and early seventies and another for more senior seniors. (Mind you, I am not too sure older people need as much convincing about the virtues of letter writing, something they grew up with.) What do you think?
SECOND LETTER TO THE CEO OF CANADA POST
May 27, 2015
Dear Mr. Chopra,
How I wish you had heeded the advice I offered you in my letter of December 12, 2013. Now see what has happened? Canada Post’s money problems have gotten worse. So unnecessary.
There has been an eight percent decline in lettermail volume so far this year, and you have put the blame squarely on Canadians, saying we have abandoned our “social contract” with Canada Post. The lifestyle of Canadians is digital, you observe. Does that surprise you? Look around. We live in a digital world. What are we Canadians supposed to do? Withdraw from the rest of the planet? Move Canada to Mars?
The Canadian public is not the culprit, Mr. Chopra. And for heaven’s sake, do not raise postage again, as you say you are about to do. That will only deter people further. If you want us to use the mail service, make the extra effort worth our while.
Have you noticed that internationally, the letter is making a comeback? Even on the Internet, an increasing number of websites are devoted, perhaps ironically, to letters—real letters, fictional letters, the changing physical appearance of letters, the history of letters, the role of letters in genealogical research. I could go on. This is a perfect time to revive the art of letter writing in Canada, and on a grand scale.
In spite of your failure to respond to my letter of December 12, 2013 (and only you know the reason for that non-response), I have forged ahead with my plans and now have even more letters, both ersatz and real, with which you can entice Canadians to buy large quantities of stamps. You may even want to offer discount prices. Volume—that is the key. A high volume of stamp sales will restore financial health to our much beloved postal corporation.
As a further sales stimulus, I have grouped the letters into bundles, with written comments to go with every bundle. You can use those comments as marketing hooks, both in print ads and on the evil interwebs.
As more people buy stamps and therefore read more of my letters, and as they are prompted to write more letters of their own, you will become aware of beneficial side effects. Excited by the innate value of the letter, more people will want to work for Canada Post. And indeed, there will be a place in the corporation for all of them, since we will need more letter carriers to deliver the letters Canadians will be writing in ever greater numbers. You will therefore acquire more contributors to your pension plan and, in the fullness of time, you will eliminate its deficit. I know we are talking about close to seven billion dollars, but really, Mr. Chopra, one must start somewhere.
There is no more time to lose. Let us work together to save Canada Post. I await your prompt reply.
Sincerely,
Ariadne Jensen
p.s. Since you have been silent on the matter of offering me temporary office space (and on all other matters), I have abandoned the plan to write demographically targeted pitches. If you consider those pitches critical to the success of our plan, we can renegotiate next week when you respond.
A HUNDRED THOUSAND BEATS
atria, ventricles, valves
aorta, pulmonary artery
superior vena cava
inferior vena cava
conduction
circulation
fist-sized muscle
a hundred thousand beats a day
the human heart works hard
fall for a politician, hard
fall for a poet, harder
find the one, soon snatched
live as a sentient statue, no right to love
the busy heart never stops,
damaged or not
AJ
TO SOPHIE MARX FROM JENNY MARX
64 Dean Street
Soho
London
October 4, 1851
Dearest Sophie,
A personal matter has been weighing heavily on my heart, so much so I have come to realize I must unburden myself or I may lose my senses, and you, my sweet sister-in-law and best friend of my childhood, are the one in whom I have resolved to place my trust. Although Karl’s exile, the demands of the work we insist upon doing in spite of the many attendant dangers, and, above all, family responsibilities have kept me from being a frequent correspondent with you in recent years, I will cherish forever the closeness we enjoyed as girls growing up in Trier. You will always have my deepest gratitude for having introduced me to your younger brother and also for having kept faith as our sole confidante when Karl and I were not yet in a position to disclose our engagement to the rest of the world. I do not exaggerate when I tell you that without my little wild boar Karl, I would be unable to carry on.
How, then,
could the events I am about to describe possibly have occurred? I myself am at a loss to understand, much less interpret rationally, what has happened, nor can I predict with any certainty how the consequences of those recent events may affect our future.
Last year, owing to the exigencies of life and the repeated failure of publishers to pay Karl his due for articles and essays, we amassed tremendous debt, to the point that I feared we would starve and face eviction from our small flat here in Soho. I saw no means of continuing to support Jennychen, Laura, our comical Edgar and poor baby Fawksy, who had been sickly from the first. How were our children to live?
By day, Karl retreated to the library of the British Museum to write; by night he led discussions on politics and society with his fellow thinkers, writers and activists over cigars and beer. It fell upon my shoulders to attend to our practical crisis, or so I felt. It embarrasses and pains me to admit this to you, but I saw no solution except to ask your wealthy uncle Lion Philips in Holland for help. After a turbulent voyage, during which I suffered from severe mal de mer, I finally arrived at Lion’s home in Zaltbommel to an icy reception, a flat refusal of money, and an unsolicited suggestion that I leave my husband. In consequence I departed immediately, in a wretched and defeated state of mind. My one solace was the knowledge that in my absence, Lenchen had been caring for the children and Karl. Yes, Helene “Lenchen” Demuth still manages our household. Who better to help tend to the needs of my children than Lenchen—a woman who has been in the service of my family of birth, the Westphalens, since her own childhood. Six years ago my mother sent Lenchen from Trier to work for Karl and me and she has been with us since, becoming in our minds and hearts a member of the Marx family and stoically enduring with us the privations to which we have been subjected—our punishment by society as a result of Karl’s critical work.
I learned during my trip that I was once again pregnant; however, some months after my return, it became obvious that Lenchen was also expecting a baby. How could that be, since she was in our home day and night, except to go out on errands?